If I Write For Anyone, Vinnie, I Write For Me!

I haven't felt like blogging. But then today I did.

On Wednesday, I was at Target getting ankle socks, water filters and scissors. In the menswear section, I overheard a woman on the phone say "I have all of grandpa's interview. Honestly, no-one wants to see another fuckin' Holocaust film."

Target have good shortbread cookies.

I've been housesitting. The alarm went off on Sunday night. I wasn't there and it was all a bit of a drama. I don't want to housesit at that house anymore. The dog needs too much attention and she's not properly house-trained.

Wait, she kind of is house-trained, but specifically. If I take her in the front yard, she just hangs out. If I take her to the backyard, then she goes. But I figure I'm more likely to be attacked by a stranger at midnight in the backyard than the front. I do consider that. Pebbles had that song called Backyard. It was good.

I realized something else about the dog. I've been rather annoyed that around 8am she starts barking at the bedroom door. That was pretty annoying, especially when I went to bed at 3am. I figured she wanted to be let out and was annoying. But last night, I realized her owner gets up early every morning so maybe she's barking because she's worried I forgot to get up or because she thinks something's wrong with me. Which is nice. And that's why I will never get a dog. I can't speak to them so it's frustrating.

I watched Cliffhanger and Swept Away again 2 weeks ago. They were hard to find. I had to go to 3 video stores before I found it.

Here's 2 disappointing things I discovered after I watched Cliffhanger and got online:
* A remake of Cliffhanger is planned.
* Janine Turner is a Republican and if that wasn't bad enough she campaigned for Sarah Palin.

I also was surprised to discover Dixie Carter is a Republican.

Someone told me recently that she went as a plus one to some Republican party and it was kind of like this Hollywood secret society. She said there were some famous people there, but didn't want to elaborate. I wondered. I could only come up with Shannen Doherty.

It's been almost a year since I painted my bedroom walls and I figured it's about time I did the window sills. Mostly because my mother's coming to visit and I don't want her to say "God, you still haven't finished those?!" Next weekend. I sanded one last night.

Speaking of my mother, she wrote on my Facebook wall asking me to take her to Michael Jackson's house when she's here next month. I don't know where he lives.

I found this service online where you can transfer your voicemails to audio files. For free. So that was fucking excellent. Hard to figure out, but ultimately excellent.

Currently playing on iTunes: When I'm With You - Sheriff.

Off to eat some high fiber toast.

I went to change the time and now Jump by Madonna is playing. I often call Madonna Madonkey. That reminds me, I haven't read RuPaul's blog in a while.

Hmmm, this was kind of fun.

I did laundry but got caught up in the computer while waiting for it to finish and didn't go get it right away. Usually people in our building pull laundry out and leave it on the dryer. The dryer has lint, occasional pubes, fabric softener spillage and probably dead skin from when people put their dirty laundry on top of it. So, I hate it when people do that. They have the right to do that, but still, it's not very nice. On the rare occasion I forget and people do that to me, I throw it right back in to get washed again. I always (yes, always) give people 30 minutes, then go get a plastic bag and put their laundry in a plastic bag. Not just any old recycled bag, I get a clean one that's never been used.

The other night (last week) I figured everyone was watching American Idol so I left it in there for a few minutes. When I went to get it, one of the neighbors was standing outside the laundry waiting for me to come get it. That was nice of her. I apologized and told her I'd take it out right away. She's nice, that lady. She always smiles when she's pulling into the building and I see her.

Ever since the blackout, my Firefox has been messed up. Even when I click on the box for it to remember my logins, it doesn't. That was annoying. But then I got on to the Firefox support and the person told me my cookies are corrupted and told me to delete them. So, I did. Problem solved. Woo hoo.

It would be nice if my skin problems got sorted that easily now.

I've been hiking. It's about average. I also found I had a couple free rounds of this computer game called Fate on my computer. So, I played it, then I had to play it some more so I bought it. It's probably a bad idea but I have time up my sleeve.

There's this Khia song called Put That Pussy On His Ass. I say that all the time, whether it's relevant or not. That's all.

I was watching an old Sex & The City on TBS tonight. If TiVo suggests an old Sex & The City episode, I watch it. Christian walked in and asked me once again why I watch those censored episodes when I own the series on DVD. I told him, because it's easier and I'm being lazy, much like how he used to slam the back door when he left instead of closing it slowly and then locking it. He replied the door slamming was because of misplaced anger at the world, not laziness.

Ever since the power outage last week, Firefox does not keep my logins. That sucks.

The earthquake was fun.

I'm off to do dishes.

I went to skid row earlier this evening. I've never been there before. I was going to dinner with a friend tonight. When that friend first came to LA, he worked for a guy. Before dinner, the guy called him.

His former boss is living in a hotel on skid row in Downtown LA. He doesn't have the cash for his monthly rent so he was hoping my friend would go to the supermarket with him and let him use his food stamps card for groceries and then give him the cash for the groceries so he could pay his rent and not get kicked out. My friend said OK. I went with him to pick the guy up. We took him to dinner after the supermarket.

His story is that a couple of years ago, someone asked him if he "parties" and he didn't want to sound like he didn't know what he was talking about so he said "sure." He tried crystal meth and loved it. Things went downhill from there. I didn't get the complete story but his partner of 30 years eventually kicked him out and although he owns half the house, he can't even afford to pay the rent on a skid row hotel, so a lawyer is out of the question. He went back to his old home and threw bricks through the windows because his partner wouldn't give him money. That got him thrown into jail. It wasn't his first visit. He's been in rehab but didn't like it so he bolted and stole a little girl's bike to get away. He tore the streamers off the handle bars because they looked suspicious. He cried as he rode off on the bike.

At some point his behavior forced him to attend anger management classes. He said the classes just make him angrier.

He also got HIV from letting guys slam him. I thought maybe that was some term for getting barebacked hard on crystal, but it's not. It means getting injected with crystal meth. He just got out of hospital a week ago. I think he had pneumonia.

He has been clean for 4 months now though.

He meets guys online and has sex with them (and thankfully tells them his status) but he said he doesn't care about the sex, he just hates being alone in that room at night. He doesn't have a car so he catches trains to meet guys. I asked him if they don't mind waiting for like an hour for him to arrive and he said "No, I'm worth it."

So, that was quite an evening.

There was a bag of old VHS tapes to get rid of at home on Thursday. Our cleaning lady was here and Christian thought she might want some so he told her to go through it and take whatever she wanted. She took the whole bag. I guess she didn't go through it first, because I can't imagine she will really enjoy Let Me Die A Woman or Female Trouble.

After that I headed out to a model casting but I was early so I went and browsed at H&M. I've never bought anything there, I just browse. But I saw a shirt I liked and went back yesterday to get it. I wound up buying 2. It's hard to find nice black shirts that are fitted for tall, skinny bitches. Then karma tried to bite my ass for buying clothing made by children in Bangladesh. I walked out and realized I was walking right behind a guy I went on a couple of dates with last year and then told him I didn't see us dating. Awkward. I figured he would sense my presence and turn around or see me when he turned the corner. But luckily I came across an open foyer so I hid there until he got away.

I'll be vacuuming the top of the stereo cabinet today.

I had a dream last night where I was involved with mobsters. When everything turned to shit and the video game where I shot Jordanian royalty turned out to be real, I was bolting for Mexico. I think as I was running out of town, I ran into Fergie and gave her a bunch of the money I was running with. Then I was on some boat with tons of strangers, including Madonna. We passed some slum building and Madonna declared loudly that she wished she was living there. I yelled back something about her not knowing what she was talking about, then she came over to have a word with me. But I think I didn't get a chance to tell her that her plastic surgery ruined her face. That's all. Then I got out of bed and did laundry.

That dream reminded me I meant to watch Swept Away again this weekend.

On the way to the closets or hangers, no clean laundry fell on the floor today. Yay for me. When it does fall, I pick it up and throw it back into the dirty laundry basket. That shouldn't surprise you.

Christian didn't want to call the cleaning lady this morning to see why she was late and if she was coming. It's one of his responsibilities in our home but for some reason he does not like calling her. He asked me to do it. Normally I say no and it's rare that he can negotiate with me because I'm pretty self-sufficient. But last night I was silently whining in my head about how much finding parking on our street sucks ass. So, I told him I would call her if he parked on the street tonight and I took his parking spot in our building. He agreed. Fucking awesome!!!! Tomorrow is early street cleaning which usually means I find it hard to find a spot when I get home from work on Thursday and then try not to go anywhere after I get home so I don't lose my spot. So, tonight, I can stay out until 9am and not worry about parking. Fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to stay home anyway, but I'll be in a pretty great mood. I might go to Staples.

I've been reading Chrissy Amphlett's autobiography. It's pretty interesting. Especially since she admits to being a rude, self-absorbed drunk and cokehead when the Divinyls were active.

I'm housesitting this weekend. It will be fun. I get to eat delicious caramel from Whole Foods at the housesitting house. Also, I will hopefully, finally get to transfer a Donna DeLory song to CD I really like that I only have on a demo tape and was never released by her. Woo hoo.

We went to dinner at Valerie's the other night. It was good. There was cake. Also, cookies. John and Vance were there with their baby. At one point, someone said "He doesn't have much baby fat." I thought 'Come back when you've fucked some of that baby fat off, see ya!' Christian and I exchanged glances because he thought the same thing. Vance noticed and asked "What was that look for?" I didn't want to horrify/disgust the dinner guests so I said "Oh, nothing."

Not too long ago, I ordered fried chicken from Grand Lux Cafe. When I got there, it wasn't ready. I was fine with that. But the woman behind the counter gave me a free dessert. So, I got a cream puff. Fuck, that was great. I just had to mention it.

You know who else is great? Tina Arena. Tina Arena is the Celine Dion of Australia. Fuck, she even sings in French too! I was feeling a bit bad today that I'm such a fan, but then I realized that at least I don't like that horrible Aerosmith song from Armageddon and I didn't feel so bad.

Ummmmm.

Claritin is helping with the burning eyes.

I went to my regular Tuesday-Thursday gig today and the carpet in the office had been cleaned. I was pretty pleased about that. I was feeling OK before that but that and all the orders for me to process really threw me into happy mode. Since I'm overly sensitive when no-one's looking and no-one was looking, my eyes got a little watery. In the happy way.

Um.

My acne medication is ready, about bloody time. Stupid-ass doctor....

I'm back. As I walked to Rite Aid to get that medication, I saw a neighbor and I was going to smile, but she missed me and I thought 'Just as well, don't want to be seen with this shake-and-bake complexion.' Then I kept laughing to myself thinking about shake-and-bake complexion. I've never found that funny until now.

I went to see a psychiatrist last week. At the suggestion of my therapist, to see if I should be on anti-anxiety medication. She decided I don't need to be. But we can re-visit if I feel it necessary in the future. That psychiatrist charges $375 a visit. Jesus, lady. I only had to pay $75. Not because of health insurance or some government community service. Because of rich people in Beverly Hills with problematic children who wanted to help the community. So, thanks to those people who I don't know. Also, because I am broke ass and that comes into consideration. Yay for being broke.

I asked Shane if he might cry on the plane flying out of LA and he seriously thought he might. You might too if you just discovered the excellence of me for a few sweet days then had to be without that for a long while.

My eyes have been burning lately, for some reason. Not as much as my pussy though. I figured I'm developing some mystery disease, but Christian's probably right that it's just allergies. Stupid ass allergies.

I finally got around to getting The Delinquents, starring Kylie Minogue on DVD. I've been meaning to watch it for ages. I haven't seen it since I saw it in a cinema in 1989. I'm watching it on Friday with Dave White. Can't wait. I bought the only NTSC version I could find and the quality is pretty bad. I think it might add to the enjoyment.

This afternoon I was sitting at home wondering what to do with myself. Shane was feeling ill and laying in his hotel bed. Christian was still asleep. So, I decided to put the iPod on, heat last night's macaroni and cheese and do a cat jigsaw puzzle that's been sitting next to my desk. But first I checked Bearciti. I had a message from a guy who was wondering if I have what it takes to be committed and devoted to a monogamous relationship. It's an unusual think to ask someone. Or perhaps an unusual way to ask that. Not an unusual thing to ask. I replied that I think I do have what it takes, but don't think we are a match. Oh well.

We 3 went to Zelo's on Thursday night, which was good, then to see Sunshine Cleaning, which was not good.

Shane and Christian eventually rolled out of their beds. After Shane uploaded my Seiko album to his iTunes, I took a break from the cats to go to Jonathan Adler, then Urth Caffe.

Now Shane is on a flight back to Australia. The puzzle is finished. It was nice singing along to the iPod earlier.

People have been adding me on Twitter lately, but the only thing I post on there these days is celebrity sightings when I'm out and about.

Then is nothing on my to-do list for Monday. Except make an ice cream sandwich.

I went to Magic Mountain with Shane and Christian yesterday. I didn't feel the magic so much. The older I get, the more chicken shit I am. Most of the rides are too scary for me. I rode 4 of them in total. X2 was interesting but it gave me a headache. I'm an old lady now. I spent the day eating and walking. At one point I found Shane's camera in his bag so I looked at pictures and supermodelled while I waited for them to get back from rides.

Later, Christian invited people over to watch Lipstick. Because what better way is there to top off a day at a theme park than going home to watch a trashy film about two sisters who get raped by the same guy. Good times. Luckily I had a housesitting gig to escape to.

The lady I was housesitting for forgot to leave her door unlocked for the cleaning lady. I called her to tell her and she felt really bad and said she would pay her anyway. That's my kinda responsibility. I like her more now.

Christian is back. Earlier tonight he stood at the bathroom door and read strange porno titles while I wiped my ass. I guess he missed me then.

My favorite moment from RuPaul's Drag Race was when he said, "There's still a lot of snakes on this motherfuckin’ plane.” I need a soundbyte of that for my iTunes.

I went back to yoga last Friday. It was difficult. I was the second worst. I was getting into accepting my status as the worst one, then the guy next to me walked out. But I can't afford it so I'll just have to hike and then complain about that. Bloody exercise.

Christian and his writing partner had a pilot with that network that rhymes with pickle-o-lien, but it's dead now, so that's a bummer.

Well, I have to do dishes and get to bed.

Right now, Say You Say Me by Lionel Richie is playing on my iPod. I used to think of that song when Mikhail Baryshnikov was on Sex & The City. I'm about to play some Tetris. I'm not working today, so I um, stayed up late last night, playing Tetris and listening to the iPod.

Now I Touch Myself by The Divinyls is on. I need to get up and take some fiber.

Back. Sometimes those fiber pills run right through me. Perhaps it's psychological. Hopefully that won't happen right now though.

I hung out at home all weekend. That was my plan. I did laundry, I made meals, I cleared TiVo. No hair product ever went on my head. It made me think of Muffin, the nude model in Jackie Collins' The World Is Full Of Divorced Women, who near the end decides not to wash her hair before a meeting ("to let the natural oils do their work") that leads to her being cast as the lead in The Girl With The Golden Snatch.

I also shaved my face this weekend. Whenever I'm going to shave my face, I always refer to my face as my pussy. If Christian asks me "What are you up to tonight?" I'll say, "I'm shaving my pussy." If he's not around or doesn't ask, I will say in my head 'Time to shave my pussy.' Always. Pretty mature, I know.

I watched all of RuPaul's Drag Race this weekend. I got a little teary during Ongina's breakdown. For real. Then again during the season recap episode.

I need to get back to Tetris right now.

Currently playing on iTunes: Pet Semetary - The Ramones.

Christian has gone off to visit his parents in Maine. He left the apartment tidy. I appreciate that. I wouldn't mind going to see his parents but I never get time to myself so I had to take advantage.

I've been hanging out at home a lot. Not just to enjoy the time to myself. It coincided with my self-imposed challenge to make dinner for myself for a week. And only go to Whole Foods once a week instead of 4. So, good for me.

I've been playing my iPod a lot and prancing around the apartment. I prance to celebrate the tidiness. Also, because if your iPod was as poppy and chirpy as mine is, you probably would too.

I went to Trader Joe's today and saw Angelyne (my challenge allows one visit to Trader Joe's as well). Her outfit was crazy, even by Angelyne standards. She had a bright pink fur jacket on, Ugg heals (dyed pink, naturally), a pink feather in her hair (or maybe that was a pink patch of hair, not sure) and a short lycra dress with multi-colored circles on it. I then got excited because I now own a cell phone with a camera but I couldn't get a stealth shot of her and was worried if I made it obvious, she or someone in the store would yell at me.

I helped Raquel move a little this weekend. That's all I can think of.

Oh, I cleaned the laundry in my building on Friday. It wasn't super gross, just gross by my standards and I was in the mood to get things done.

Now I'm waiting for Shane to arrive. Shane is from Australia. I've never met him but he's visiting the US and Rob told him to look me up. I'm flattered. I know nothing about Shane except that he likes Kylie Minogue so I don't have to worry about running out of things to talk about.

In between prancing and cooking (sometimes I dance as I cook, if I'm doing something tedious like stirring risotto for ages until the chicken stock gets all absorbed, and a chirpy song comes on), I caught up on some Oprah. I really love it when they show moments of Oprah's discomfort about sex. I watched an episode that was a repeat and thank God I did because it featured a moment where Oprah was mentioning a picture that had just been mentioned of an "aroused" man but she couldn't bring herself to say "aroused," so she just gestured awkwardly with her hands. I had to watch that several times over.

Shane's running late but I'm done now, so, bye.

I took a picture when I woke up yesterday:



Today I went out and bought some CD-Rs. I had run out. Then I got a haircut.

Next week when Christian goes to visit his parents for 2 weeks, I might do that cat jigsaw puzzle that's been sitting around for ages.

That's about all, I'm getting in the shower now.

Our internet has been down at home for 3 days. Stupid Time Warner Cable. There was no fire in my building, just stupid Time Warner Cable.

I was just listening to this Britney Spears song called Mona Lisa. It starts like this: "This is a story about Mona Lisa. THE Mona Lisa." Then I laughed.

Christian let me play my iPod in his car on the way to dinner the other night. He never lets me do that because he doesn't like a lot of my chirpy music. But out of the blue, he decided to let me. I was so thrilled, I did a happy dance while I waited for him to be ready.

I also made a bunch of money. And ate tres leches cake and fried chicken.

Good fucking day.

Also, someone asked me to show them my hairy ass. It was life imitates porno.

At the restaurant, I was waiting for ages for the men's bathroom. Then a lady walked out. She apologized and said "Just so you know, the men's bathroom is cleaner than the women's."

Last night, I made macaroni and cheese. It turned out OK. It tasted better when it was warm.

These are the songs that played on the iPod while I was in the kitchen:
I Can't Wait - Stevie Nicks
Move Away - Culture Club
Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know - Britney Spears
Never - Heart
Desensitized - Invertigo
Independence Day - Melanie C
House Of Love - Maria Vidal
Will You Remember - Eighth Wonder
Love Is All That Matters - Diana Ross
I Was Thinking Of You - The Tuesdays
Dangerous Game - Kylie Minogue
Steal My Sunshine - Len
R.O.C.K. Rock - James Reyne & Lin Buckfield
These Days - Bardot
Say The Word (I'll Be There) - Kylie Minogue
At this point, I was waiting for water to boil so I ate a cookie over the sink, then I started doing dishes.
So Far So Good (Instrumental) - Sheena Easton
I realized it was the instrumental when the first chorus started and provided the vocals myself.
New Attitude - Patti LaBelle
Nothing To Lose - Kylie Minogue
Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves - Eurythmics & Aretha Franklin
Love Theme From Twin Peaks - Angelo Badalamenti
Heaven Must Have Sent You - Bonnie Pointer
It's A Sunshine Day - The Brady Bunch
Wake Up The Neighbors - Brenda K. Starr
At this point, I had put the macaroni & cheese in the oven, cleaned the counter, licked the pots and went off to watch Oprah.

I went to the laundromat the other night because the dryer in my building was broken and I saw AJ McLean from Backstreet Boys eating at Los Tacos next door. I had a Backstreet album in my car, but didn't go in to ask him to sign it.

It would be nice if Billy Ocean toured the US in 2009.

Yesterday, Christian asked me if I ever think about where packages come from when I buy things online, "Like, isn't this poster lucky to be living in Hollywood now instead of Iowa?" I never think that and I thought that was pretty funny. The only thing I wonder about is what the city looks like if I haven't been there.

I didn't think Geri Halliwell looked frumpy at the press conference to announce the Spice Girls reunion tour. I was just thinking of that and thought I'd mention it.

Geri Halliwell should have a blog.

I was feeling half-miserable (not because of Valentine's Day, just because), but then I tried to finish doing that Desert Island Discs Meme and saw Fotos Y Recuerdos by Selena on my iTunes. I felt like hearing it, so I played it, then I felt a little better.

I had a dream the other day that I was somewhere, maybe a school, and someone outside the room started shooting. So, I bolted for the screen door. And I guess it wasn't a school then, because what school has a screen door? I woke up as I was trying to get the screen door opened and wondered whether I would survive and what things would I do to survive. Also, would I stop to help people out of the room with the screen door or just run? Then I considered faking death. But would the mystery shooter stand over me and shoot me to be sure? Then I accepted death and got out of bed.

I'm off to do dishes and put laundry away, bye.

I finally got sick of people saying "I'm having trouble hearing you," on the home phone and bought a new phone. First I signed up for Consumer Reports because I'm sick of buying junk too.

I also returned Vance's pot with the glass lid because I prefer metal lids (they're easier to clean) and getting a new one with a metal lid. Before Vance's pot there was another pot that was pretty old and on it's last legs. The bottom was all scratched and the handle on the lid was broken but Christian refused to throw it out because it was expensive. Then he just gave up. It's great when Christian gives up and lets me throw out useless junk. Like the collander with a hole in it. It usually takes a few years though.

I'm sending the DVD Recorder to get fixed.

Also, replacing the broken light fixtures.

And got my wig fixed.

You know who doesn't get enough hotness props? Gerald McRaney.

Someone I know wrote a rather quirky Random 25 List and he said he was inspired by me. I love that.

Currently playing on iTunes: Together Forever (Lover's Leap Extended Remix) - Rick Astley. Sometimes you need a little extra Rick. Especially when there is emphasis on Matt Aitken's guitar playing.

I like this song:

All the laundry that can be done has been done in my home. I did it.

I wanted a Nestle Toll House Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich yesterday but I didn't have one. Today too.

There are some fuckin' happening vegetarian shoes, that's what I learned just now.

I need to get some running shoes.

Tomorrow (technically today) may be the day I go out and get a new Thomas Guide.

I already did the 25 random things meme, this isn't it.

I've been enjoying sesame bagels lately.

Most mornings, I don't want to get out of bed. Most mornings, I let the alarm ring twice before I get up. I'm not depressed, I just want to sleep. Tomorrow (technically today) there will be no alarm. Praise Jesus.

I have never farted in a therapy session. That's all for now.